“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never
disappointed.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
Often,
in recovery of any certain rejection, I call to remembrance the words of Sylvia
Plath. I don’t know exactly why, but I
find comfort in her dismal obscure perception of the way the world felt for
her. Perhaps it is our shared antisocial tendencies and bouts of depression
(especially in the aftermath of failure) but I take the scenes of, “The Bell
Jar” like lucid dreaming in the scope of my dreary thoughts.
While I too understand the frustrations and disappointments in failure, my age has taught me to appreciate failures,and the lessons that can be learned form them as well as the inspiration that can come from a failure. I often felt as though I was a failure for choices that I made, things that I did not do, things I did but did wrong. However, my dad was one of my biggest inspirations, and when I became an adult, I remember him telling me to always find the 'silver lining' of every situation. Those simple words inspired me to take on a whole new outlook! Now, instead of seeing a failure as another way that I have fallen short, I see them as a mistake, a teacher, a lesson to be learned. It is because of this new outlook that I even started back to college! I was sitting at the table with my then 10 year old daughter, working on homework, and becoming very frustrated with my daughters lack of effort. I tried to explain to her how important the foundation of information that she was learning would be to her as she went through high school and into college. Her words to me cut into the heart of me- I felt as though I had just experienced my greatest failure! She said to me, "why do I need to go to college mommy, you didn't and your just fine- I just want to be like you." I actually had to walk away from her to sit and cry for a moment! I was so ashamed of my decisions in life up to that point! Then, I remembered the words of my dad, the words that I had heard so many, MANY times in my life. I went to speak with an adviser the very next day, enrolled and took my entrance exam for Ivy Tech. I will graduate this weekend as a member of the honor society Phi Theta Kappa; but most importantly, I have an 8th grade daughter who will be inducted into the Junior National Honor Society at the end of this month! The moment that seemed like a failure, turned into a moment that became a turning point, a turning point for amazing changes for myself and for my children! There is always a silver lining to be found...
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